A collaborator comes to the wise leader and says: - I have to tell you about the behaviour of one your team members
The wise leader:
- Let me stop you: Have you passed what you mean to tell me through the three filters test ?
- The three filters ?
- Your words must pass through three filters . The first is the truth. Have you checked that what you want to tell me is true?
- No, I have heard about it and ...
- Well, then you have certainly made it go through the second filter, that of goodness. Is what you want to tell me something good?
- No, quite the opposite ....
- Turning then to the third filter: is what you want to say useful?
- Useful? Not really ...
- Well... if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor useful, I prefer not to hear it. As for you, I advise you to just forget it….
- Nonetheless tell me more. I am grateful that you came to see me. I would like to hear more from you. How are you? … How are you doing? ... How do you see your job? Your results? Any ideas, suggestions, desires, ambitions….? Any engagements I can help you with?
Emotions are generated by the meaning of what you do or what you want to achieve, through feelings, relationships, sense of belonging, by the group, the team, from the pride of being part of something big, ambitious, generous, that contributes, adds value ...
Until the end of the 20th century we thought humans made decisions only on a rational, objective, logical basis ...
From "I think so I am" to "I feel so I am."
In the late 90's Antonio Damasio scientifically demonstrated that reality is the opposite: decisions are emotional ... Without emotion no evaluation is possible, what is right or wrong, better or worse can not be defined ... no decision is possible .
Emotion is energy.
E-motion, energy for movement.
The industrial revolution was based on people being objective and rational resources for production. Human resources.
The modern, post-industrial world must take into account the emotional dimension in order to motivate and mobilise people.
Today it has become essential to give and bring meaning, share strong human values, build confidence and courage in order to generate commitment and performance within teams.
Our challenge is to be free Free from appearances, prejudices, limiting beliefs, stereotypes, superficialities... Free from our automatisms, our shortcomings ...
It is difficult to be free ... It is difficult not to compare oneself, not to respond to other's expectations, not to let others define you, not to try to please or to appear... It's complicated not to be demanding with oneself, not to be dissatisfied, tense. It is necessary to know yourself ... to have visited each corner of your intimacy ... to have experienced every emotion, feeling, thought, to have looked at yourself in the mirror... It is important to have seen yourself react, to have observed yourself in action, in paralysis, in success, in failure ...
You need to accept, to forgive, to love yourself ... So you can be committed, take action, dare, go forward...
What do you want for this new year? What do you commit to?
Whether personal, with a parent, or professional, with a collaborator, a boss, a colleague, a client .... we all need, at one time or another, to engage difficult conversations ... moments of truth ...
Moments of truth where our goals, our identity, our image, our influence, our balance are at stake ... Moments of truth that move us, destabilize us, make us doubt ... Over time, each relationship develops its preset codes and scripts. Contexts that are installed and that sometimes lock us up and are no longer useful to us. With time the scripts become more difficult to change. It is time to create a moment of truth. A moment one to one to address the issues that matter ... A moment to discover the truth of what there is between us, our history, our relationship, our evolution ... the truth of our relational system ... How you manage the moments of truth?
Individuals and organisations can go through different phases during their existence.
Growth phases of development where there is openness, learning, flexibility, movement, where are put in place new knowledge, habits, processes. Growth phases focus on innovation and continuous improvement of results.
"Aging" Phases where the focus is on stability, established, defined and repeated routines, processes and organisations. Aging Phases are efficient in stable environments, unsatisfactory in changing contexts.
Growth is about being curious, flexible, open,
having fun, doubting, listening, learning, playing.
Aging is knowledge, about knowing, having opinions, judgements, certainties, being rigid, closing oneself.
The challenge for people and for businesses is being able to be always in growth phases. Is it possible? People and businesses need to work their self-knowledge, their strategy, their mission, to be able to adapt and have an impact and be successful in the environment or market.
Age, Learn to know Yourself.
Create certainties about yourself, who you are, who you are not, what you want and do not want, what you need and reject. Love yourself!
Grow, Be curious and open.
Doubt everything around you, be humble, open and curious, listen, take an interest, learn. Go beyond appearances, look in all directions front, back, sideways, search, explore.
Age and Grow
Develop your wisdom from within, being curious, humble, be an apprentice and an innovator with the surroundings and circumstances. In what phase are you? And your company?
What values are shared and respected in your company? Businesses and companies are under pressure to achieve high levels of production, quality, billing and generate larger results and profitability. One to one and company relationships become tense. The most basic human values may be set aside, forgotten. Values are key elements in human organisations. Strong values increase the feeling of belonging, motivation, enthusiasm, performance, energy. When human values are not respected it creates demotivation, politicking, harassment, mobbing. It enhances competition and enmity. What culture is there in your company? Companies with strong values can achieve excellence. In companies without values reaching normal performance standards may seem miraculous. People spend a lot of energy for very
ordinary tasks and results. What values need to be developed in your company? A management team must ensure that strong values are respected in the company. They must embody these values. But it is the people, the teams, the organisation that make these values be alive and applied on a daily basis. Re-connect your people with individual and collective values that strong and inspiring. What do you think? What's happening in your company?
All Sales People fear Objections. Objections tend to destabilize you when you are presenting the value of your offering. Objections can destroy everything you worked creating.
The main impact an Objection can have on a sales or negotiation relationship is the visible tension, discomfort, uneasiness it can create in you.
What is the difference between an Objection and a Question? Your perception!
When you have an objection the first reaction is to counter-attack, convince of the contrary or justify yourself. Doing so you are not attending your client, you are staying in your agenda, in your head.
The challenge is to acknowledge and thank your clients for the objection. The fact they actually express it enables your relationship not to be harmed by any unspoken doubts or concerns.
Make a priority of your relationship with your client, not of responding to the objection.
An Objection is an opportunity to know and understand them better.
It is also a proof of your clients’ interest or implication.
Don’t misuse it.
Build the relationship.
Through curiosity, questioning, connection, rapport, discussion, true and open argumentation.
Transform Objections into Benefits!
To learn more about our Sales and Negotiation training and coaching offerings, email to me your request to email@example.com
In organizations the pressure is high and it affects every executive, manager or employee, at all levels. It targets people that produce results ... and could potentially generate even more.
Collaborators need to demonstrate daily they are valid and capable of contributing to the company.
Suspicion is never far away.
Such environments, at human level, are stressful and ineffective. Imprisoning managers and employees into short-term indicator controlled operations does not stimulate innovation nor creativity and discourages any culture of motivation or collaboration.
Switch from mistrust to unconditional trust.
Trust your team.
After all they have these jobs because you are confident they have the ability to perform there.
Manage them from this perspective. See them at their full potential rather than focus on their shortcomings.
I was leading a sales workshop some weeks ago and I asked the participants what skills a high performing sales person needed to have to interact with their clients. They listed three main ones:
Focus on your Customer
Know products and service offerings by heart
Have the ability to present them with confidence and clarity
Be able to quickly close a deal.
I was surprised to notice that none of these statement actually mentioned the client. As if a best practice sales process did not depend of them, but only of the sales professional's abilities. Where is the customer in all this?
Sales teams tend to focus on their products, their objectives, their abilities, their agenda.
For me the key to success goes in the opposite direction. Sales people do need to know their products and services, but beyond that, their key skills and abilities should allow them to :
Connect with clients
Break the ice, build trust
Earn the right to ask questions
Know and Understand them
Do not listen to respond but to understand
Listen, do not try to convince.
Partner with them
Build rapport and Develop the relationship
Co-create and Position your offering
Sales teams need to focus on their clients and start adding value NOW.
This is not about pushing, this is about dancing with your clients. To achieve this you need to know them, be present and curious of them. You need to create proximity, intimacy.
Then you can start to design and co-create an offering that hopefully will respond to their expectations and needs. In win-win way.
Potent Leadership is a matter of being aware of what is happening in a group and acting accordingly. Specific actions are less important than the leader’s clarity or consciousness. That is why there are no exercises or formulas to ensure successful leadership.
Potency cannot be calculated or manipulated, nor is it a matter of trying to look good.
Three examples illustrate differing degrees of potency in leadership:
1- Potent: a conscious yet spontaneous response to what is happening in the here and now; no calculation or manipulation.
2- Less Potent: trying to do what is right. This is calculated behavior based on the concept of right, and manipulative behavior based on an idea of what should happen.
3- Least Potent: imposed morality. Imposed morality rests entirely on should and shouldn’t. It is both calculated and manipulated, and meets resistance with punishment. It sheds no light on what is actually happening. It often backfires.
Leaders who lose touch with what is happening cannot act spontaneously, so they try to do what they think is right. If that fails, they often try coercion.
But the wise leader who loses the sense of immediacy becomes quiet and lets all effort go until a sense of clarity and consciousness returns.
Leadership is not about putting on a mask, is not pretending to be somebody else. Authentic leadership is to be aligned with our values, our passions and ambitions, our being.
It is to accept our forces and our vulnerability. Being Authentic does not mean being naive. It is self-knowledge, knowing and learning to know ourselves. It is to forgive ourselves of what we find repellent in us. It is about exposing ourselves, taking risks, getting out of our comfort zone. True leadership is to want more for ourselves, for our project and for other people. It is working to go for more. More connection, more intensity. It is contributing to this world in the way we want to contribute. Bringing our vision, our hearts, our energy, our vibration. Are you being an Authentic Leader?